Sex, Dating and the Soul.

The Torrey conference was a very unique experience as a new student to Biola’s bustling student body. The lack of classes and small amount of required attendance would be alluring to most students anywhere. We were given the ability to spend time learning about sexuality. One thing that was very interesting from this conference week was the amount of encouragement placed on dating throughout the seminars. The Christian school environment puts heavy emphasis on finding someone to be with. Rather than encouraging the students to develop spiritually in a single state we are encouraged to find significant others and begin the settling down process. The “ring by spring” concept isn’t just a silly motto for a Bible college, it is a goal which has become realistic for many students. Becky Tirabassi, one of the speakers from Torrey, encouraged boys to ask a girl on a date. There is nothing sinful about that and no biblical restrictions put upon dating, but when it is so constantly referred to and when a speaker says “Boys, ask her out,” dating becomes a focus of the college students life. When a teacher says to his students “Get in groups because the person next to you could be ‘the one’,” students immediately think about whether or not their fellow classmates are attracted to them. Focusing on these issues are reminders that we are not searching for the right things, although we are at a school which is entirely devoted to the Lord.
The Torrey conference had many valid points and many important lessons that Christians of any age need to learn. John Coe spoke on emotional chastity, something that many people did not fully grasp because they had not yet been in an environment or a situation that led them to comprehend the full weight that being emotionally unchaste holds. He spoke on issues that are almost untouched within the Bible school environment, such as lust, whether physical or emotional. He addressed issues of sexuality and the lack of accountability among the Christian community. The lack of accountability can be attributed to pride and not wanting to be honest around our brothers and sisters who may not be struggling. In the book Intimate Matters, the authors John D’Emilio and Estelle Friedmen address the issues of sexuality among youth over the years and the trend of dating and becoming sexually active at a younger age. We, as the Christian youth, need to hold each other accountable.
C. S. Lewis, in The Four Loves, wrote about our deep need for relationships between males and females, but that within that need we crave “side-by-side” relationships. These are relationships that are not as intimate as those which are “face-to-face” or between two people that choose to be in an eros love relationship. These relationships are the ones that should be emphasized, and were by Dr. Coe. Dating is not a bad thing and does not need to be discouraged but should not be such an emphasis in everyday learning.